I am A Writer, Writer of Fictions
Matt. 31. Libra. Jackass of all Trades. Assholier than Thou. Currently married to the love of my life - voicesandanalogies.tumblr.com. She told me not to settle, and I didn't. Random blog mostly of things I like. A few now-defunkt game design projects linked to the right. Might get back to them someday. Probably not, though. Enjoy.
i
c
u
K
R

mangocarta:

so i went to the zoo yesterday and saw the cutest family of otters ever

and then i checked their names

image

they’re all NAmED aftER fOOD

EXCEPT kEVIN

WHY

WHY WOULD THEY DO THIS

19 minutes ago | J | 142,914 notes
plays

ughvideogames:

and now for something nice

20 minutes ago | J | 6 notes

THIS CAT IS AN OLD MAN

25 minutes ago | J | 212,159 notes

owldee:

this fucking mentality that you can’t be best friends with your significant other, that romance ruins a friendship, that BOTH FRIENDSHIP AND ROMANCE CANNOT OCCUR SIMULTANEOUSLY kills me like

that’s such a horrible, horrible and unhealthy mentality to have

29 minutes ago | J | 45,265 notes

tardistiles:

sp00kyqueer:

sp00kyqueer:

Something I realised, after having to help many international tourists count out their change, is that American coins don’t actually have the number value on them??? Like no wonder all these poor tourists are so confused

like

image

it just fucking says one “dime”

what the fuck is a dime

how much is it worth

whose idea was this

oh my god i never even realized that what the hell we all just sort of know what they’re worth through some sixth sense bullshit

30 minutes ago | J | 64,130 notes
1,271,685 plays

ahhfeck:

one of my fave scenes from anything

30 minutes ago | J | 201,880 notes

larrydavidofficial:

my entire life

32 minutes ago | J | 73,791 notes
33 minutes ago | J | 80 notes
FUCK YOUR PERPETUATION OF THE "BRONIES AREN'T REALLY OPPRESSED MYTH" YOU PRIVILEGED FUCKS. I COULDN'T GET A JOB BECAUSE OF MY BRONY ARMBAND.

Anonymous

dorkstranger:

shitrichcollegekidssay:

keep bronies out of the workforce 2014 is going really well

33 minutes ago | J | 33,456 notes

delvins:

i don’t actually hate people it just exhausts me being around them for extended periods of time even my friends it’s nothing personal i just actually like being by myself yo

33 minutes ago | J | 574,326 notes
34 minutes ago | J | 164 notes

averagefairy:

the worst thing about being shy and introverted is that you most of the time come off as cold and arrogant like you think you’re better than everyone else and thats why you don’t talk to people or hang out with them but it’s really the opposite its like you’re so uncomfortable with yourself that you don’t wanna share it with anyone else so you just dont and people think you’re an asshole but you’re actually just really scared

35 minutes ago | J | 251,112 notes

dynastylnoire:

ecklecticsoul:

{Strolling Series by Cecile Emeke}

Sexism,Patriarchy,Racism and Colonialsm.Full Discourse

watch this video.

it is soooooooo good

40 minutes ago | J | 47,042 notes

koofins:

youkilledmyfatherpreparetopie:

jcatgrl:

bl00d-sugar:

I FOUND A TUTORIAL ON HOW TO MAKE DILDO POPSICLES IM LEGITIMATELy DYING OF LAUGHTER RN

imagine eating one of those in public. you make eye contact with someone. lick it a couple more times. swirl your tongue around. AND THEN YOU BITE IT IN HALF.

tumblr is such an interesting place to look at in public

WANT

40 minutes ago | J | 341,863 notes

poshxspice:

subject13fringe:

montypythonandtheholyblog:

today I learned that if you want to slash someone’s tires, don’t slash all four; only slash three because if you slash all four their insurance will pay for it but if you only slash three they have to pay for it all out of pocket 

image

today on satan makes a blog post

…Why can’t they slash the fourth themselves?

42 minutes ago | J | 336,919 notes